Journal

Old Journals

4-30-09 Back, but limited
I drove to oakdale for my blood test today. I was not really to excited to go today. I am glad it was just a
lab only deal. So I don't have to pay the silly co pay. Things should go well. I made it 21 days without any type
of booze. Not even a little or anything. I am quite proud of my self.

I was watching the Bulls and Celtics game. I was quite intrigued on how close this serious has been. Going
into multiple over times. It was enough to keep e away from the bar. Eventually I made it out. I had one vodka
cranberry and a beer. I felt buzzed. But I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. Feels odd to tell you
the truth.

4-29-09 Softball season 2 on dvd
I slept in a bit today. Its just been so hard to sleep lately. I took my anxiety pill that puts me out last
night. I needed to get some serious sleep.

I finally convinced Karen to eat pho for lunch. Mario and Mike came with also. We had fun. I was so full. I
ate more then what I wanted to eat. It is worth it. I was so scared she wasn't going to like it. If I can just
find something new to try. It feels like I have really tried every dish possible. Well we know thats really not
true. One can dream though.

My heart was set on not playing softball today. I was checking the weather forecast and I was pretty sure it
was not going to happen. Well, we ended up playing. We lost 17 to 6. I felt we did a good job for not
practicing. We will improve and we were with out 3 of our players. We look to improve next week. I was just
soaked after the game. It was raining pretty good for a bit there. Some times I question if we should have
stuck to kickball instead of the switch for this team. I realized at Majors. I made the right decision. I mean
this is our 2nd year playing. We got lots of room for improvement.

4-28-09 Memories at the MOA.
I was having really bad head aches all day. My head was just spinning right round, right round, when you go
down. Oh wait thats a song. Well you got the point. It was so bad I ended up getting some aspirin to deal with
it. Well not sure if it helped.

I went shopping at the Mall of America today. I got some new pants and a belt. Nothing too exciting. I guess
I knew what I already wanted. I noticed the mall has changed quite a bit. I remembered old memories of my
stores that were there. Like the good old Sunglass hut on the 2nd floor. That was my home for awhile.
Memories of all the fun times. Well I remember sitting there and staring at cute girls that walked by.

4-27-09 Sandirts are born
For once in my life. I am not over craving food. At lunch today. All I had was an apple and a small salad from
Rainbow. I just find it so relaxing when I am in a grocery store. Just putting things in my basket makes me so
free willed for some reason. I just need to stick to this plan of eating healthy. I realized my metabolism has
caught up to me. Its time I fight back.

We had a late game tonight at volleyball. The Sandirts make their debut. We named it after Dan. Since his lst
name is Andert. Kinda catchy. We won the first 3 games. The other team didn't really put up much of a fight.
I thought we were a bit sloppy, but it was dark and the lights were really annoying. So things will get better
once we have more day light. I had a good time.

4-26-09 Rainy days
I didn't wake up till 1pm today. I honestly don't remember the last time I did that. I guess thats what
happens when your on the phone till 4am. I guess it was 9 hours of sleep. I shouldn't b complaining.

It was raining all day today. Most people tend to just sit around the house not wanting to go outside. I am
one to feed off a rainy day. Kinda like when its nice and sunny out. I guess I am a bit backwards when it comes
down to that. I went to go get some crab legs today for lunch. I was feeling pretty fancy I guess.

I havn't watched any of the NFL draft at all this weekend. I was reading who the Vikes picked up. It looks
like they made a bold move on wide receiver. Not too sure on the Percy Harvin. Looks good on paper, but I
don't like to read about him testing positive at the combine. I would have drafted Michael Oher the offensive
tacke. Hopefully it all works out though.

4-25-09 Hint of spring sports
This morning I got up pretty early. I was a bit exciting for volleyball today. I was a bit concerned that it
would get rained out today. We won our first game and advanced. We lost our 2nd and 3rd games. It was a
double elimination tournament. My face got some sun burn today. Even though we were with out our regular
team mates. I think it was a good preview for Monday nights. Hope fully there is less competitive teams. I
think it will be a lot of fun though.

4-24-09 Bowling party
I was checking my bank account this morning. Since it was pay day. I had two paychecks in there. My vacation
reimbursement money kicked in. It was the best feeling I have ever had. I wanted to goto Vegas and spend it
all. I was a good boy and spent most of it on bills. I was tempted to book a flight somewhere though. A part of
me always wanted to travel more. I figured it was something I could do when I am order. Figured it might
mean more to me. I just need to not spend that much. Right now I am doing a pretty good job. With out
drinking ofcourse.

The bowling part was pretty fun. I was sucking at ring toss. Due to the washers being a bit rusty. They
didn't have that normal bounce. I like to skip it. I realized I had a lot of support without the drinking. it
really made me feel better.

4-23-09 Pumped for summer
I was looking at the summer movies for this year. I was getting really excited for a bunch of movies. Last
year I felt it was a bit of a disappointment. There wasn't really anything I was looking forward to seeing.
I have a couple Blockbuster movies waiting be watched. I have been slacking a bit on that department. I have
been doing so much lately when I get home. I almost feel a bit lazy. Guess sometimes you just need days like
that.

4-22-09 Softball preview
I was really craving tacos for some reason today. I havn't been to Taco bell in a very long time. I didn't get
a tray full of food. I really wanted to. I was in a productive mood for work today. I wanted to get a lot done.
I wish I could just hide behind a door or something. I get distracted easily. I ate a light dinner tonight. Its
that whole European diet I am going through. Not by choice. Just seems that way. I went to Bebops to watch
Chris play softball. Danielle and Chad came too. I guess we were watching how we could possibly get destroyed
when we play.

4-21-09 My first quarter of 2009 report card
So, I was drunk at some bar some time December 2008. I wrote on napkin my goals for 2009! In no particular
order. I figure I would grade my self. Well, for the first four months.

1. Take care of my health.
I have been to the Dr's office 4 times this year. To take care of my allergies, anxiety issues, liver issue,
lump on my head. I think I am doing a great job. The past 2 years I have only gone to the Dr once.
Grade: A

2. Slow down drinking.
Honestly, I failed miserably on this one. I have been so bad at this. I had my blood tested and my liver
enzymes were high. Forcing me to be on the shelf for 3 weeks. So far I have been alcohol free for 13 days.
Grade: D -

3. Save money.
With 3 separate savings account open. I have money funneling into them every pay check. I have been spending
on various things. Which I have not been doing a good job with.
Grade: C

4. Get a girlfriend.
I havn't really been looking like I was supposed to. I guess I have been more occupied on having fun I guess.
Although I do have a lead. Which I have not told anyone about yet.
Grade: D

5. Become a home owner.
My plan is set for November. I have been saving and slowly buying things. Things are set in motion. I am
already going to be looking at a house this Thursday. I am grading this on how I have prepared for it.
Grade: C

6. Go on a vacation.
With one of those extra accounts. I have been having about $40 bucks go into a account. After a year. It will
equal up to about $1040.00. I figure I have a year to plan my vacation.
Grade: B +

7. Figure out who your true friends are.
With so much drama going on in 2008. I couldn't take it anymore. I am just tired of it. Just watching adults
act like children. I have decided to cut branches off that tree. No longer are the days that I will be there
for events. I guess the hard part is, just expecting people to be angry at me for it. Which is fine. I decided
if you aint with me. Then fuck you, you can die and I wont care at all! In my wallet. I created a list. A
friends, B friends, C friends who are aquantences.
Grade: A

8. Focus on me.
Since I am on day 13 of no drinking. I have been having an identity crisis. I really don't know who I am
anymore. I act more goofy and I got my smile. I have done a good job on putting my self first. It has been
hard. Now that I am 28. I feel I need to take priority on all my issues. I have always tried to be the fixer.
It was my challenge. I no longer need it. I don't have the hunger for it. I do things my way now.
Grade: B

4-20-09 Resting the bod
I was late to work today. I just totally forgot to set my alarm. I am surprised I don't do this more often.
With all my injuries. I have been feeling out of it. We had burger King today for lunch. I was craving the
angry whopper. It was pretty good. I bought some flounder today after work. You would be amazed on how hard
it is to find it. I liked it, I think its one of my favorite fishes. The delicate taste it has.

4-19-09 Hanna Montana
I went to the mall to get some shopping done. I needed some new work pants. My other work pants have been
kinda torn up and it was time to let them go. So for the past two months. I have been wearing jeans to work.
So I got a bit of new clothes. Since I am losing some weight. I figured it was time to buy pants. Andy, Jenni
and Amy went to go see The Hanna Montana movie. It was pretty good. We went to Fridays for dinner
afterwards. I got home and I realized I needed to change my diet. So I bought some items, that would help me
eat cleaner. Chicken breast, potatoes, fish. I was so tired when I got home. I just went to bed. Its been a
very long weekend.

4-18-09 Party bus
I went to dodgeball this morning. I threw out my shoulder. It was in a bit of pain. I couldn't even lift it over
my head at one point. Not sure what is going to happen now. I think I need a few weeks away from dodgeball.
Normally I just play through it. This time around it doesn't feel right. I went to Mindy's surprise party bus
thing. She didn't look too surprised. I think the week of celebration wore her out. I didn't end up staying on
the bus for long. I was getting tempted to drink. I needed to just leave. Annie took me to O'garas. I took it
easy the rest of the night. I was so tired.

4-17-09 Legacy is born
I was starving this morning. I had nothing to eat at my desk. Since, I have just eaten everything in sight. I
went to go eat pho with Annie at Pho 79. It was really weird seeing a group Air force people walk in. I guess
I am used to seeing other military ops running around. I went to Bradys for the last time on a Friday since
january 4th. We have been doing it since week 1 for bowling. We knew we had a tough contest tonight. Cos Hos
had two ringers. I bowled a 111 the first game. We won the first game and lost the 2nd game. I bowled a 148
in the 2nd game. I was frustrated all night. I was struggling. I took the tape I had around my fingers. The
3rd game, we had the lead, but we watched it shrink. One of their bowlers bowled a 244. In the final 10th
frame. I was clutch in getting a strike and finishing with a spare. We won by 8 pins. It was huge. I started
to celebrate my 3rd straight championship with 3 different teams. We went to the Hoggs after. We sat on
the patio. I was tired. It was a intense night.

4-16-09 My milk shake
I over slept a bit today. I don't know why I am sleeping so much lately. I am having a hard time adjusting to
this. Today is officially one week of being alcohol free. I am really proud of my self for lasting this long. I
really didn't think I could do it. I guess it is mind over matter. We went to Baja Sol today. I was starving. I
got heir burrito. Its not as good as Chipotle though. Although, its a good secondary option. Tonight at
dodgeball I just didn't have my legs. I think from sprinting so much from kickball the day before. I had no
energy. I better kick it up a notch soon. Sports are coming soon. I will have to keep the endurance up.

4-15-09 Mindy b-day
I was so grouchy when I woke up this morning. I wanted to cheer my self up by buying bagels for people at
work. I specifically asked the girl behind the counter to put two jalepeno cheddars in there. I was even
telling her why I wanted two. Cause I was going to eat two. I was so sad, when I saw there was none. Stupid
St Paul bagelry. I eventually cheered up an got over it. I went to Fridays after work. Had some 1 cent
appetizers. Then it was off to kickball at Longfellow park. Brings back memories years ago with the old balls
deep kickball team. Anyways we won 4 to 3. I went tot he Vfw for Mindys birthday. Then I was sober cab
driver for everyone to the Town House.

4-14-09 Lost and insecure
I forgot to buy bagels this morning. I was so hungry. I went to Super America instead. I got one of there
breakfast sandwiches there. It was pretty gross. Me and Mario went to Wendys. He really wanted to eat
there. I ate pretty light there today. I wasn't really to hungry. I have been eating so much lately. I am losing
weight still. So thats a good sign. I got home and I was so tired. I needed a break. It was a good night to jsut
relax and enjoy the moment. I had a lot on my mind anwyays.

4-13-09 Bowling finale Mondays
I had a hard time getting out of bed today. Normally its because I had a late night of drinking at the Bluefox
Sunday night. I think my boy is detoxifying and I am having a hard time adjusting to it. I had Jimmy Johns
today for lunch. I forget how much oil and mayo they put on it. Tonight at bowling. I was focused in a way. I
wanted to bowl good the first game and shut it off the rest of the way. I got a 180 to start. It should have
been higher, I didn't leave an open frame till the 8th. Then I fell apart from there. I had fun though. The
other team was just annoying me. They had like a billion people on their team. They were the slowest bowlers
also. We won 4 to 3. So I am happy.

4-12-09 Easter Sunday
I looked outside of my window. Wondering if I could get another day to just wakeup peacefully. Me and my
mom went to the grocery store to get some dungenous crab. The asian market jacked up the price for it. 8.99
a pound. Bastards. They are normally about $5.99 lbs. $130 bucks later, crab legs were set for dinner tonight.
I was actually very full today. I ate like it was Thanks Giving all over again. I played with my nephews. I
suckered my littlest nephew with candy to give me attention. I guess its all easy since I had two nephews
before him. All and all, it was a good Easter. I didn't want to go out tonight. I would have craved the booze.
So far so good. Four days straight. Wednesday was my last day of drinking.

4-11-09 Saturday fun
Whats more fun then anything in the whole world. Sleeping in two days in a row. I went to dodgeball today. I
needed to get some exercise in. I felt it was a fairly good work out. Since we were int he big gym. It gives me
more room to roam around. I was hell bent on cleaning today. I vacuumed, scrubbed and did laundry. I got out
and tried to breathe in some of that lovely spring air. I went to mass tonight. Then I went to Andy and
Jenni's for dinner. I have been just in a good mood all day. I didn't want to go anywhere else. I just went
home to relax.

4-10-09 Playoffs, Final 4
I wanted to sleep in. I forced my self to do it. I slept till about noon today. I felt so refreshed when I woke
up. I spent most of the day just relaxing and watching tv. I had to waste time before bowling. I was fairly
confident we were going to win. I went to Bradys for Happy Hour. I didn't drink any alcoholic beverages. I
just drank a Red Bull. I got a low ball glass with ice. Makes it feel like I am. We got the sweep tonight. I
bowled pretty well tonight. 203, 178, 139. We all actually went off to tell you the truth, We play Co's Hos in
the finale next week. Should be a good one. Looks like were under dogs going in. We went to the Blue fox to
see Uncle Chunk. It was lots of fun. Even though I couldn't drink. I think I am just getting used to it now.

4-09-09 New life
Today was basically my Friday. We are closed tomorrow at work for Good Friday. I was binge eating for
awhile all morning. I was so nervous about my blood test results. It was a battle of phone tag. I found out my
results around 11am. Looks like my liver enzymes are high. The liver has just been working over drive for way
too long. My cholesterol was a bit high also. My blood pressure is high. So I had a couple options to take. One
of them was to be drink free for 3 weeks. Also too eat healthy. So thats what I opted to take. I was mentally
drained all week. Finding out the lump on my head was just a cyst. It was hard to have anything left this week.
Thank goodness for good Friday tomorrow. Too have that day off. At dodgeball tonight I ran around a lot. just
to get my exercise in. I hurt my arm like I always do. Starting tomorrow will be the tough test with the
drinking. All of next week also. I guess I needed another test in my life.

4-08-09 Andy Bday happy hour
I woke up early today. I had to drive Annie to the airport. Right after, i went right to the healtheast. I had
my appointment today for my abnormal liver and my lump on my head. Figure I would kill two birds with one
stone. I was really nervous the past few days. They took my blood to check out my liver enzymes and
something else I forgot what. The lump on my head is just a cyst. So I guess that is good news. I was so
stressed all day. I ate and ate food. For happy hour we went to Grumpys. Andy got there late. We then went
to Brady's to close the night. I was exhausted. I drank a lot knowing. My drinking habits will change when I
find out the results.

4-07-09 Exercise
I realized I needed to get into shape again. With the sports coming this season. I needed to just get more
energy in me. I went to go play dodgeball tonight. I was trying to run around a bit more. Get my legs feeling
the burn. I wanted to test my ankle. My ankle felt pretty sore after. I was starting to wonder if my achilles
just inst ready yet. I got home and made some chicken for dinner. I decided I needed to get back on my lean
meat diet. So I am just going to eat chicken breast for awhile. I knew I was going to have a hard time
sleeping tonight. I took my anxiety pill to knock me out. I have a big Dr's appointment tomorrow. Hopefully
the liver issue and the lump on my head is nothing serious.

4-06-09 Twins opener
This morning I went to the Dr's office. I finally got to hear back from my results. The X-rays were fine. The
blood test not so much. I have something wrong with my liver. They told m to call my primary Dr for that. So
I am going tot he Dr again on Wednesday to get the liver thing checked out. Also to get the lump I have on my
head checked out. I don't think its anything major. I have lost hair in the area of the bump. Which is the size
of a quarter. Onto other things. Baseball season. I am not a big fan of baseball but I go every year. We
started off at The Corner bar. Then it was off to the game. WE left a bit early. I was getting bored. Back at
the Corner bar we went and everything was fuzzy after that.

4-05-09 Dinner with the fam-bam
I spent most of the morning trying to figure out what I was doing today. I drove to work to get a few things
done. Mostly my taxes. I decided to do them late this year. My goal was to get money later. Since I was going
to have a bit of more bills to pay, when May and June come around. I decided to I am going to start eating
healthy and running. My ankle is about 90%. Tonight was dinner with the family. It was a bday dinner for me.
I havn't had a bday dinner yet this year.

4-04-09 Ready world?
I tried my best to sleep in. I have been so busy this past week. I needed a break. I shut down communications
with the outside world. I did laundry and just made lunch. I tried to take a nap to just get some more rest in.
It was not working at all. I am re-doing my list for 2009. I figured I needed more accurate details. I went to
Shawn's birthday at Grumpys. It was a lot of fun. I had to call it an early night. I was still wiped out from
the past few days. I went home and fell asleep watching the newer X-files movie! I went to Mcdonalds and
watched the snow fall like it was December. I was collecting memories in my head.

4-03-09 Strong push
This was a short week for me this week. I thought today was Thursday. Guess i was wrong. Today I had some
fish at Baja Sol. Well the fish tacos. Which is one of my favorite things to eat. Doesn't matter where. I
went to Brady's for happy hour. I seemed very excited, but at the same time. Just happy to be out. Tonight at
bowling. I was turning the switch on and off. I wanted to take it easy. The team wanted to go into the
playoffs with momentum. Since we have been struggling. I say we are ready. I got a 170, 128, 168. I bowled a
turkey to finish off the night. Just wanted to make sure I was ready! We went to the hoggs right after. I
was so tired. I had a good time though.

4-02-09 Kiss a girl
No specific reason why I picked the title above. Ok, well I lied. I was listening to Keith Urbans new cd. This
is what the first song was called. Today was hard to get back into the swing of things. My brain was not
ready to multi task at all. It was really busy at work. I ended up staying late today. I wanted to goto the bar
for a couple drinks. I was just craving it. I met up at Brady's. Sari bought be a shot of Jameson for a
belated b-day shot. Mike and Heidi were there with friends. I had a good time talking to their friends. I went
to the Legion for one. Well I was there for a bit, but I wasn't really drinking anymore. It was a good
inexpensive night!

4-01-09 The day after
I threw up this morning. I luckily made it to the bathroom. I am so glad I took today off. I guess I got
better at remembering to take it off. I called a taxi to pick up my car. The guy was the typical New York
taxi driver. He swore more times then I can blink. It was the most ridiculous thing I have ever scene. I laid
low all day. I made pad thai for dinner tonight. My version wasn't so bad. I decided it was time for a hair cut.
I cut my hair short. I couldn't cut it all off. I have this weird bald spot. I think its a weird lump that wont
go away. Its weird. I should probably get that checked out. I caught up on watching my tv shows online. As I
laid in bed watching them. I realized a lot of things. Today was a nice day to have off. Looks like it was slow
at work anyways.